I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've written. Between family, and a very demanding and time consuming job, I've been exhausted.
But, today is my birthday, and i wanted to MAKE TIME to write!
It has been a very busy time these past few months- and I don't believe I've really written much since Papere passed away. Today, I just wanted to write a few things for which i was thankful, as I didn't get to do so on Thanksgiving.
1. My amazing, godly, virtuous and handsome husband- who is a perfect model of St. Joseph and puts up with my shenanigans. :)
2. My "little" Joseph, who just celebrated his first year of life in October! It's amazing to me that time moves so quickly.
3. My family.
4. The infamous Charlie- who, despite his yowling, is always ready to cuddle.
5. My sister's cat Gabriel. He's the sweetest cat alive.
6. Friends.
7. My job. I've been so blessed that ever since I've graduated from college, I've had a Catholic job. I'm also blessed that I can go into the Church whenever I please because it's less than five steps away from my office.
8. That my parents are allowing us to stay in their house until my husband is hired and we find our own place.
9. That I taught myself how to cook. :)
10. In the same vein, I'm abundantly thankful for The Food Network.
11. P90X.
12. Literature, poetry and writing.
13. Learning how to give myself a French Manicure.
14. Mother Teresa. I've been reading a book by her for some time- (and I can never, ever remember the title..) but I'm continually moved by how she served the "poorest of the poor," and acknowledges that those who are lonely and have no one to love them are the poorest of all. This has touched my heart and I try to remember this on a daily basis.
15. The gift of my life- thanks to Mom and Dad for being pro-life! They prayed for ten years to have me, and I was to be born on Christmas Day, but was born a month early instead. What a blessing to be wanted. So many children in today's society aren't seen for the gift that they are.
16. That (despite my objections) God is teaching me flexibility (I have a feeling this will be an ongoing process) and patience.
17. The wonderful priests at my Church, particularly Fr. E, who is the most optimistic person I have ever met- and is SO very happy with his vocation! He will be a blessing to many.
18. For Vermont. Though I must admit, I miss Texas and it's warmth and hospitality so much!
19. My hair. After I was married, I cut off my hair. I highlighted my hair. I dyed my hair. I'm thankful that I've left it alone and it is NATURAL again, and that I'm growing it out- I've missed it!
20. My sister, Amanda and my grandfather, Papere, who are interceding for me continually and will be there to meet me should I make it to Heaven. I'm blessed to have two saints praying for me.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Happiness Abounds
It's a little after 10 PM and I should be in bed recovering...but I am just too ridiculously happy right now! For the past three days, I've felt as if I had a cement block on my chest due to the asthma/respitory infection...and not 20 minutes ago, I felt it lift off of my chest! Someone is praying for me. Thank You, Lord! Now, to finish my jasmine-lemon tea with honey and sleep. Tomorrow is Joseph's birthday, and I've got some serious cake baking and decorating that needs attention in the morning.
We are moving the party to Saturday, so I'm going to buy a small pre-made cake or cupcake for tomorrow- because the big cake will be reserved for the party. I can't wait!
We are moving the party to Saturday, so I'm going to buy a small pre-made cake or cupcake for tomorrow- because the big cake will be reserved for the party. I can't wait!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
My Little Monkey
It's hard to believe I haven't had time to write and it's almost been a month!
Today, I'm ill, so I stayed home from work. I caught some sort of respitory infection that has activated my long dormant asthma- resulting in me puffing on my inhaler, taking Nyquil, and drinking absurd amounts of jasmine-lemon tea, slurping down honey to soothe a scratchy and sore throat and eating a lot of chicken soup. It seems that as long as I lie still in bed or I sit, I'm fine- but if I move at all I begin wheezing and coughing, and sinus pressure increases. However, I've never been very good at being sick. I don't like staying in bed and watching movies or reading when I feel like I should be playing with the baby or cooking or going to work...something besides lying in bed.
So, the past two hours, I've been looking up buttercream frosting recipes and daydreaming about streamers and birthday cake. Why? Because Friday is my little one's first birthday, and I don't want to be sick for it!
Last week, my husband and I (and baby) were running errands and I found the cutest monkey cake pan- and thus- we've decided to have a monkey-themed party.
Grant it, it's not going to be a big party- just family- but I want to make it special. It's so unbelievable to me that one year ago, the most amazing gift God has ever trusted me with, was born. Fred and I had wanted a little one for what seemed like such a long time- and then, miracles of miracles, he had arrived.
And in that moment when I first looked at that baby, the pain- the memories of his legs getting stuck under my ribs, being kicked all through the night, and the fear I had when he had been in distress just minutes before, vanished.
And there he was. Perfect.
It's been an amazing year- and Joseph has brought us such joy.
Anyway, that is why I'm going to attempt this monkey cake. It seems a little bit daunting (I don't consider myself to be a fantastic cake decorator) but I'm excited to do it. We decided we're going to go with a vanilla cake, and then we will need chocolate buttercream and plain buttercream frosting, and colors to tint the icing, as well. I even bought those frosting bags with the flower and star shaped tips on the end. This will certainly be an adventure, and I'll be sure to post pictures of my little monkey with his monkey cake, soon!
And, when things are a bit calmer, I'm hoping to blog on a more regular basis.
Today, I'm ill, so I stayed home from work. I caught some sort of respitory infection that has activated my long dormant asthma- resulting in me puffing on my inhaler, taking Nyquil, and drinking absurd amounts of jasmine-lemon tea, slurping down honey to soothe a scratchy and sore throat and eating a lot of chicken soup. It seems that as long as I lie still in bed or I sit, I'm fine- but if I move at all I begin wheezing and coughing, and sinus pressure increases. However, I've never been very good at being sick. I don't like staying in bed and watching movies or reading when I feel like I should be playing with the baby or cooking or going to work...something besides lying in bed.
So, the past two hours, I've been looking up buttercream frosting recipes and daydreaming about streamers and birthday cake. Why? Because Friday is my little one's first birthday, and I don't want to be sick for it!
Last week, my husband and I (and baby) were running errands and I found the cutest monkey cake pan- and thus- we've decided to have a monkey-themed party.
Grant it, it's not going to be a big party- just family- but I want to make it special. It's so unbelievable to me that one year ago, the most amazing gift God has ever trusted me with, was born. Fred and I had wanted a little one for what seemed like such a long time- and then, miracles of miracles, he had arrived.
And in that moment when I first looked at that baby, the pain- the memories of his legs getting stuck under my ribs, being kicked all through the night, and the fear I had when he had been in distress just minutes before, vanished.
And there he was. Perfect.
It's been an amazing year- and Joseph has brought us such joy.
Anyway, that is why I'm going to attempt this monkey cake. It seems a little bit daunting (I don't consider myself to be a fantastic cake decorator) but I'm excited to do it. We decided we're going to go with a vanilla cake, and then we will need chocolate buttercream and plain buttercream frosting, and colors to tint the icing, as well. I even bought those frosting bags with the flower and star shaped tips on the end. This will certainly be an adventure, and I'll be sure to post pictures of my little monkey with his monkey cake, soon!
And, when things are a bit calmer, I'm hoping to blog on a more regular basis.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The "Hidden" Jesus
I've been reading an amazing book by Mother Teresa (the title escapes me now...) but she writes of how Jesus is hidden in the poor and suffering, and how she and others met Him during her work in Calcutta.
Today, I met Him, too.
At about 7 AM this morning, I awoke to a knock on the basement door. It was my sister, who tearfully explained that we had just received a call that Papere (my maternal grandfather) was moved from the nursing home to the Emergency Room. His heart rate was at 160, and he was unresponsive.
After dressing quickly and feeding Joseph, my husband and I, along with the rest of my family, piled into the car to go to the Emergency Room.
To make a very long story short, once we arrived at the Emergency Room, Papere's vitals had stabilized (as much as they could), but his white blood cell count was up and he was diagnosed with pneumonia.
After my parents and aunts and uncles had visited with him and Fr. R had arrived to give him the Anointing of the Sick, my husband and I went in to go see him.
When I first peered behind the curtain, I'm sure that I gasped. He was draped across the hospital bed, head tilted to one side, and looked just like the image of Christ in the Pieta. Pale skin just barely stretched over his bones and his blind eyes were cloudy. I held his hand, which seemed as delicate as a baby bird's wing.
While he wasn't sure who we were the entire time we visited, I could see that he was comforted by the touch of someone who cared for him. Several times, he called out, "Almighty God! Why won't you take me?" and my heart ached, remembering Jesus on the Cross, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"
How I longed to comfort him- but realized my helplessness- and my littleness. It's humbling to realize that sometimes the only comfort one can really give is time and prayer.
Right now, he is being admitted to the hospital and my mother is with him.
I am so thankful I was able to be at the hospital today. Not only could I be with my grandfather, but I saw the "hidden" Jesus revealed in his suffering.
Today, I met Him, too.
At about 7 AM this morning, I awoke to a knock on the basement door. It was my sister, who tearfully explained that we had just received a call that Papere (my maternal grandfather) was moved from the nursing home to the Emergency Room. His heart rate was at 160, and he was unresponsive.
After dressing quickly and feeding Joseph, my husband and I, along with the rest of my family, piled into the car to go to the Emergency Room.
To make a very long story short, once we arrived at the Emergency Room, Papere's vitals had stabilized (as much as they could), but his white blood cell count was up and he was diagnosed with pneumonia.
After my parents and aunts and uncles had visited with him and Fr. R had arrived to give him the Anointing of the Sick, my husband and I went in to go see him.
When I first peered behind the curtain, I'm sure that I gasped. He was draped across the hospital bed, head tilted to one side, and looked just like the image of Christ in the Pieta. Pale skin just barely stretched over his bones and his blind eyes were cloudy. I held his hand, which seemed as delicate as a baby bird's wing.
While he wasn't sure who we were the entire time we visited, I could see that he was comforted by the touch of someone who cared for him. Several times, he called out, "Almighty God! Why won't you take me?" and my heart ached, remembering Jesus on the Cross, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"
How I longed to comfort him- but realized my helplessness- and my littleness. It's humbling to realize that sometimes the only comfort one can really give is time and prayer.
Right now, he is being admitted to the hospital and my mother is with him.
I am so thankful I was able to be at the hospital today. Not only could I be with my grandfather, but I saw the "hidden" Jesus revealed in his suffering.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Big Shoes
10 Month Old Joseph and I...what a handsome boy!
When I accepted the position at my parish as DRE, I knew I was replacing a Titan. The lady that I had replaced formed the program from nothing and built it to where it is today- and, for the most part it runs like a well oiled machine.
I expected that after following someone who has been a parish fixture for thirteen years, that I would receive some resistance and comments. The comment that I hear almost daily is that I "have big shoes to fill." Needless to say- hearing this on a daily basis grates on my nerves.
When a lady I met told me this the other day, I replied with, "What? No I don't...I'm making my own shoes." and smiled at her. It went over well enough.
However, I've been reading a book by Mother Teresa, and this line just hit me, "If God could find someone more helpless and hopeless than me, I'm sure He could do greater things with her."
Wow.
This line both humbles me, and reminds me that I am His instrument...and that HE decides how I am to be used. As long as I do my best, and it is for the glory of God, that is what matters. 'I' am not anything. 'I' should not try to fill anyone's shoes OR create my own- but merely do what is pleasing to Him.
Other than that- things have been going well. Joseph continues to amaze me daily with how much he's changing. He is so beautiful. Four teeth now, and walking! He has even started dancing in his high chair when he hears music.
My husband has been amazing as well. If anyone has a servant's humble heart, it is him. I am so blessed to have this man in my life.
Hopefully, I will write more often after the next two weeks are over- I have so much to share.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Divided and United
When I was in high school, and even into college it so happened that whenever my family had a party or cookout that my Dad would ask (well..."ask"...) my sisters and I to sing for our guests. Usually, after much reluctance, we would sing in four part harmony. We would sing anything- from songs that were currently playing on the radio to the "Hallelujah Chorus." As an introvert, I usually dreaded singing in front of a crowd. However, I did enjoy singing with my sisters, and listening to the beauty of an acapella four part harmony.
This past weekend, everyone from the parish staff at my church came over for the annual parish cookout at my father's house. This meant all of my co-workers, priests, nuns, deacons, and of course my own family. As soon as the last of the burgers had been claimed and the laughter had quieted, everyone turned their attention to the patio where my two sisters sat, prepared to entertain the guests.
They sang beautifully, accompanied by guitar. I sat at the picnic table with my husband and my son, hoping no one would urge me to join in- which of course they tried to do. I declined as gracefully as I was able and tried to be as inconspicous as possible.
As the tiki torches flickered against the darkness, and I listened to their voices charm the crowd, I could hear the two harmonies that were missing- that seemed to me to leave the song incomplete. I almost see her. See the four of us together again- and I felt my face warm and water fall from my eyes.
You see, I have a secret. I haven't sung since my sister died. I can go through my days normally- get up, coffee, work, pray, deal with the baby, deal with family, and everything is fine-
unless I am invited to sing with my sisters- or even sing in public. Once, I was flipping through channels on television and saw a family of Celtic vocalists singing and that was too much for me.
The only place I will sing is during Mass. I feel that while I am singing to my Beloved at the Eucharistic Table, I am united with her- that all of us are together again.
And sometimes, in those quiet moments during the Communion Meditation I can hear her- soft and gentle, weaving her voice in with the tapestry of voices from the congregation below. How good God is, to allow me this gift, especially in my unworthiness.
This past weekend, everyone from the parish staff at my church came over for the annual parish cookout at my father's house. This meant all of my co-workers, priests, nuns, deacons, and of course my own family. As soon as the last of the burgers had been claimed and the laughter had quieted, everyone turned their attention to the patio where my two sisters sat, prepared to entertain the guests.
They sang beautifully, accompanied by guitar. I sat at the picnic table with my husband and my son, hoping no one would urge me to join in- which of course they tried to do. I declined as gracefully as I was able and tried to be as inconspicous as possible.
As the tiki torches flickered against the darkness, and I listened to their voices charm the crowd, I could hear the two harmonies that were missing- that seemed to me to leave the song incomplete. I almost see her. See the four of us together again- and I felt my face warm and water fall from my eyes.
You see, I have a secret. I haven't sung since my sister died. I can go through my days normally- get up, coffee, work, pray, deal with the baby, deal with family, and everything is fine-
unless I am invited to sing with my sisters- or even sing in public. Once, I was flipping through channels on television and saw a family of Celtic vocalists singing and that was too much for me.
The only place I will sing is during Mass. I feel that while I am singing to my Beloved at the Eucharistic Table, I am united with her- that all of us are together again.
And sometimes, in those quiet moments during the Communion Meditation I can hear her- soft and gentle, weaving her voice in with the tapestry of voices from the congregation below. How good God is, to allow me this gift, especially in my unworthiness.
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