My Lights

Right now, it is QUIET.

My parents and sister have gone to a show, Joseph is asleep for the night, and my husband has retreated to his "man cave" (also known as the unfinished portion of the basement) and is working out. Even the animals are snoozing.

This never happens- and I am ecstatic! I've even turned off my cell phone!

I just wanted to take a little bit of time to reflect on the "goings-on" of the past few days- starting with today.

Today it was beautiful and bright, even though it was cold- (18 degrees). My husband and I brought Joseph outside to play in the snow. We bundled him up in his over sized blue coat, his Bud Lightyear snow boots and his navy hat (which bears a striking resemblance to the one Elmer Fudd dons when hunting) and let him loose into the great outdoors.

He didn't want to go past the driveway, so that's where he stayed the majority of the time, and watched Daddy shovel. Being the kind and "helpful" soul that he is, he didn't want Daddy to shovel all by himself, and ran on his tiptoes all the way up the driveway, and into the garage to find a shovel to "help."

Once he spotted the shovel, he tried in vain to move it (this shovel is taller than me) and when he found he couldn't, he stood facing the shovel, and yelled at it, hoping it would cooperate.

It didn't work.

With his attempt to help Daddy foiled, he began to explore the garage under the watchful eye of Mommy...who had to whisk him away and bring him inside when he found all of the pool chemicals and wanted to sample them. Yikes!

Aside from this, he did pretty well outside, and it was nice to get some fresh air and not be devastatingly cold. The past few days have been freezing, and yesterday morning we received about another ten inches of snow.

Anyway, the past week has flown by. I'm in the midst of Confirmation and First Eucharist preparations, as well as wrapping up the end of the Catechetical year and organizing Open Houses.

I'm also fifteen weeks along in my pregnancy, and I'm beginning to notice some physical changes. Some people still don't realize I'm pregnant, while others notice right away. I've begun to "pop" a little bit, and I can feel the baby moving, especially at night when I lay down on my side. What an amazing feeling!

I'm thinking that I may have to go purchase some "transitional" clothing soon. I'm not quite ready for maternity clothes, but the clothing that I currently own is becoming uncomfortably snug.

My next doctor's appointment takes place on March 16th, when I'll have a sonogram, and I'll be able to find out the gender of the baby. We already know that if it's a girl, we would like her middle name to be Philomena, after my husband's favorite saint.

It's amazing how the knowledge that this new life is within me has actually helped me the past week. We have had some very difficult days (worrying about finances,finding a place to live, whether or not I'll have to work next year, etc.) but even though this has been so difficult- and even though so often I feel like I'm in the "desert" the excitement and joy of this new life slices through, offering light in this darkness.

My other "light" sources- my husband who is most likely a saint, and Joseph, who is learning more and more everyday (and surprising me more and more everyday) have also helped- but when they are not there, when I'm alone in my office at work and hunched over the computer or leafing through calendars and files- and when I feel that gentle "flutter" in my belly, for a brief moment the dark world fades. I know God has entrusted us with this life, and I know that He is holding me.

I know that I am not alone.