"Behold- I make all things new..."

New Year's Day didn't really feel new- but as the days of 2013 begin to slip by, I feel like 2013 will be like a springtime after a harsh winter.  Maybe it's because turning 30 has finally solidified in my mind that I am who I am- and with God, things can change.

I just decided to drop by my neglected blog and realized that I began this particular post in January.  Hard to believe it's been that long since I've really looked at this blog!

However, I still feel the same- that despite all of the recent difficulties, that a "springtime" is approaching. 

The boys are growing so much!  We've enrolled Joseph for preschool (he would begin next fall) and David and Michael have changed so much.  Well, David hasn't grown (vertically) much...he and Michael are both wearing 18 month old clothing!  (David is 20 months, and Michael just turned 8 months today!) 

David is beginning to say "Mama" and "Dada," and he says, "Oh yeah!" "Yaaay!" "Naanaaa" (Night Night) and occasionally "No."  He is speaking later than Joseph did, and it's been hard trying to get him to speak when he has a big brother who loves to speak FOR him.  He loves to be carefree and is very easy going and sweet.

Michael has cut four teeth and two more are on their way in.  He is eating solid foods and trying to crawl.  He bounces on EVERYTHING.  I think he is the only one of my children who cannot sit still.  He bounces when he's held, in his car seat, in his crib...everywhere!

Confirmation is right around the corner and we have 40 candidates who will be confirmed...and then Bible Camp...and then Fred and I will go to California to see his family.  We have not seen them in over two years, so they will be able to meet David and Michael for the first time, and we will get to meet our niece for the first time!  Exciting.

After Confirmation winds down, I hope to keep better tabs on the blog.

The Climb

Oh poor, neglected blog, I think it has been about two months since I've written!

Life has been very busy with three little boys and my husband working nights while I work days.  I feel right now like the best way to describe what life is like is by saying it's like mountain climbing.  I feel like we're at the craggy, rocky, face of the mountain, breathless and hoping for respite- and then I happen to look down and notice the beauty below me that would have otherwise gone unnoticed.

Basically- things are very hard.  However, God is faithful!  I've experienced two Christmas miracles that I will have to write about in a later post as I only have a few minutes right now- but both brought me to my knees with tears of thanksgiving.

I am humbled and thankful- and noticing the beauty of others and the faithfulness of God is what keeps me pressing on.

What Maternity Leave With Three Under Three Has Taught Me

How To Dodge Landmines:
Landmines constitute as anything my one year old hurls onto the floor.  Usually, he does it out of frustration that he's not the one being held and is in his high chair.  I've learned to dodge everything from spilled milk to Cheerios to Cheez-Its.  And sometimes spit up.

Science:
What the color of a Number 2 means- and also what the size and consistancy means. 
How much Infant Tylenol needs to be injested to make us take a trip to the ER. (Thanks, Joseph.)

Art:
Infant Tylenol can also be used to paint on one's bedspread and carpet.

Nutrition:
Mom avoiding dairy means baby is NOT gassy.  This also helps Mom to lose weight.
Kid Cuisines are okay once in a while.
Goldfish Crackers and Welch's Fruit Snacks are their own separate food groups.

Math:
If baby gets up at 11:00 PM for a feeding, and stays up til 1:00 AM, Mom can estimate that she will get two hours of sleep before all children are up.

Literature:
Goodnight Moon and The Hungry Caterpillar are classics that should not be overlooked.

Seriously, though- even though maternity leave has been difficult as I was on my own we three kids- I am going to miss being home with my babies.  Wish I didn't have to go back to work. However, I'm happy we found a daycare and that I can bring Michael to work with me.  Prayers please for any who read this- husband is on the third shift and doing a lot of mandatory overtime- and I will be doing a 50+  40 hour week, then coming home and having the kids all night alone...which wouldn't be so scary if David wasn't teething and Michael wasn't colicky... kind of at a loss as to how all of this is going to work- and I've never felt that way before.

September Resolutions?

The other morning whilst nursing Michael, I was watching some generic weekday morning show. (There's not much one can do while nursing- impossible to read while nursing in a recliner!) The host was babbling on and one about the weather and the presidential candidates- and finally came to the topic of September being a time of back-to-school resolutions for Moms. As a former teacher, I MISS going back-to-school shopping. The scent of freshly sharpened pencils and the ecstasy that comes with buying rainbow colored sticky notes and blank notebooks- and planning how I would teach this up and coming year- evaluating how well I taught the students the previous year, and making notes about how I wanted to change my methodology. I know that all too soon, Joseph will begin school and I will be going through a similar inventory. For the time being, however, I DO want to look at September as a time to re-evaluate and to make new resolutions. I think that it is fitting that this is done as autumn quickly approaches. The leaves are turning from a vibrant green to gold, scarlet and orange and a chill is beginning to settle in the air (at night anyway), and in the back of our minds we know that soon everything will be veiled in sparkling white, adds to my inner yearning for change. Perhaps this seems especially pertinent to me as of late since I just gave birth to our third boy, little Michael! (Or perhaps I only feel this way because my hormones are raging due to the fact that I just gave birth, I'm nursing and trying to keep up with two toddlers while deciding whether or not it is feasible to stay at home...) In any case, about a week before I went into labor, I decided I needed to buy a new notebook. It's one of those pretty notebooks- various shades of blue with swirls- a notebook that looks classy. Not one of those flimsy one subject 70 page notebooks that will last all of two months before getting destroyed due to constant page turning. I wanted the notebook. I NEEDED this notebook. I've been anxious to use any spare time I can get to write and read- to get my thoughts in order. And yet- that notebook is still blankly staring up at me. There's something that can be almost crippling at time about wanting to take a new step- something that makes one feel like any move will make something permanent- like there is no going back. Something that makes little blue pen markings seem like whatever is written is going to be irreversible. Final. Something that makes me forget the beauty of White-Out or using pencil. That mistakes can be fixed. There are so many things to do- so many changes that need to be made- so many things that will not go away unless action is taken. And yet, that notebook still stares up at me blankly. The resolutions and ideas continue to marinate- but I think it's about time to put pen to paper and write. To evaluate. How am I going to be a better mother? Wife? How am I going to make to to sit down for five minutes and be "alone" with God? How am I going to juggle three kids when my husband returns to work the week after next? How are we going to survive on one income if I need to stay home- and how are we going to survive now that my husband has been moved to third shift? And how are we going to do all of this with one car? So many questions- and only one answer: HOPE and TRUST in God...while doing your best to juggle everything.

Michael Has Arrived and a few Joseph-Isms

Baby Micheal arrived August 25th at 1:27 AM and was 8 lbs even. Contractions began around 7 PM that evening- and I ended up having a natural birth...(sort of by choice and sort of not- the look of the IV needle was a little too much for me to handle- so I just decided to go natural. After having done that, I don't think I will EVER do that again! Reminder to self- don't be a "hero"- get the epidural!). Michael is a spitting image of Joseph when he was a baby.  All are healthy, albeit more exhausted than usual.  We are happy for his arrival!  I will write more when I have a few moments...

And today from Joseph:

"Mama, Mama!"
"Yes?"
"I pee-peed on da fwoor!" (said with the utmost exuberance.)

(Should I be thrilled he doesn't want to pee in his pull-up or
mortified that his new 'dumping ground' is the floor?!)

After reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and seeing that the
caterpillar has turned into a butterfly:

"WOW! Dat's gweat, Mama! Dat's gweat! Wook! A butterfwhy!"

Looking at Michael:

"Mama, dat's MY baby Michael."

"Is he David's baby brother, too?"

"NO.  He's MY baby Michael! My bwother."

After Joseph has woken up in his Batman pjs:

"Mama, I AM the Batman."

The Little Ones, Maternity Leave and Megamind

Well, I was hoping by now I'd be able to share the blessed news that the newest little one had arrived, but we are still waiting!  However, I am glad for two reasons that he has waited- even though I feel as though my belly is going to explode and my legs go numb from having him sit on my nerves:

1. I always try to go to Confession before I go into labor and have not yet had an opportunity.
2. Joseph has been tested for Pertussis, and the entire family is on antibiotics. 

Both the boys had been vaccinated against it, but the doctor said that there is a particularly strong strain going around.  Joseph had been coughing so hard that his face would redden and he would gasp and wheeze for his breath- SO SCARY.  He is still coughing hard, but since he has started the antibiotic, I have noticed his wheezing has subsided.

We also had to report this to the state, and the state has to inform the daycare with what symptoms to watch for, and what precautions to take.  I'm baffled as to where he could have caught this as he is either always with our family or in daycare.  Poor little guy!

So- I'm glad the baby has waited.  I'm not sure what precautions we could take with the baby to ensure he doesn't catch this.

Joseph has just seemed to have a run of bad luck, lately.  Yesterday when I went to go wake him, I ran into his room to the sound of screaming and blood gushing out of his mouth and down his arm.  Of course, knowing that he had been coughing, I imagined the worst, until he managed to explain that he hit his chin on the foot board of his bed because he had been jumping. Poor kid!

David has been doing well- but separation anxiety has started to set in with him...especially when my husband leaves the room during a meal time. (Fred has been feeding him bottles at night as I am too large to have him rest on my stomach).  He's also been upset with me because I can't pick him up as much as I used to.  My belly has taken over my mid section so my hips have disappeared and there's no place for him to go!  He's still a sweet little Mama's boy, though!  Little guy just celebrated his first birthday and is trying to walk- so hard to believe!

I'm "supposedly" on Maternity Leave- in my absence people try contacting me with a lot of questions as it is the beginning of the school year.  The replacements I hired are doing a great job- I only wish one had more self-confidence.  She will do a great job- she just needs to believe in herself. Leave has been difficult with the Pertussis, constant (and now painful) Braxton Hicks and my husband's crazy work schedule- and daycare drama, too. Ugh.  I'm trying my best to give my all to my kids, but finding that I am so worn down due to third trimester insomnia and anxiety about WHEN the baby is to arrive...and worried about my husband's imminent shift change.  If his supervisors put him on third shift, I don't know how we're going to do this...hoping God has an amazing plan in store.

I DO have to say that I am most grateful for Megamind.  For some reason, Joseph is just enamored by that movie.  (And I like it, too!) When he watches it, and David is down for his morning nap, I am able to indulge in my nesting fantasies and load the dishwasher and mop the floor. Is it bad that he loves that movie so much that he is now identifying the characters and whether or not they are good or evil???  I do hate using the television to occupy him so I can get housework done- but my helper can no longer come as her husband just had surgery and my parents both work.  Wishing we knew more people in the area- I can't believe how much my hometown has changed since I graduated from high school.

In fact, Fred and I have talked about moving again...which I wouldn't mind.  I'd like a fresh start and I'd like to be able to meet people our own age who are also married and/or have families. (Not that we don't value our single friends- we do! It would just be nice to share some of the struggles that go along with family life with those who are doing the same thing.) It would be nice to have couple friends in the area and be able to share our lives with them.  I just don't see that very  much around here- and everyone I meet through my job, as lovely as they are, are 50+.  Would love to meet people in our age bracket and find good  playmates for the kids.  Perhaps soon.

Anyway- that's all for now- probably the last blog before baby arrives....and I have to go take my chocolate chip cookies out of the oven and finish wiping down the kitchen before I can go to bed...(Oh, nesting...can't control it!)   For anyone who checks out our little corner here- please keep us in prayer!

So- it has been almost a month since the last time I blogged. It's been very busy at home and at work- and it feels like time never stops. I don't have much time as both boys are (miraculously!) napping, and I want to get in on that before they wake up...so here is a short update. 1. My baby sister is getting married in two weeks. TWO WEEKS. I feel old! Joseph is going to be the ring bearer and I'm lectoring. I'm praying that all goes well because... 2. One of my doctors thought I could go into pre-term labor. It would not be pretty if my water broke behind the ambo. However, at my last appointment I was only 1 cm dilated- but I also know that could change rapidly. 3. The lady I was going to hire to take over for me during maternity leave cannot take over anymore because of personal issues. Trying to rush and get everything done before Baby #3 arrives. Again- would love to try and find a way to stay home... 4. May HAVE to stay home because our daycare provider said that she assumed Joseph was going to preschool next year and already made arrangements to have his spot filled. I'm in shock and not happy- and she was very embarrassed. I'm not sure what to do because I love his provider- but I am so upset. Joseph cannot go to preschool until he is potty trained. and right now #1 goes in the potty, but not #2. 5. My 6 year wedding anniversary is on Sunday- and my husband and I are celebrating on Monday- not sure what to do yet. 6. Wishing I could go to Confession- haven't been able to. Feeling overwhelmed and tired is not an excuse for choosing to sin- but it certainly makes it much easier to do so. 7. Lots of contractions lately- painful. 8. Have to prime and paint a dresser, wash all the newborn clothing and HOPEFULLY pre-make and freeze some meals before the baby arrives... 9. And have to plan his baptism and pray about godparents. 10. I've also been looking for other jobs, just in case. Being in an administrator with two young kids is tough- and if I must work- I can't imagine doing it with three. There's more- but it's time to lay down and SLEEP...just needed to do a "brain dump" first!